The Civilians’ Porn Musical

Back in LA after 4 days in Vegas culminating in the AVN awards. At the Palms, a casino that we now officially despise but that’s another story. We’ve limped home, beaten, exhausted and dehydrated. And we didn’t do anything except talk to people. The porn people signed autographs, smiled for hours of pictures, some shot porn in between, dressed up for the awards which ended around midnight. Then they partied all. Some of them we imagine might get a little “help” to pull it off. Amongst our crew there were many debates as to who seemed to be drugged while giving acceptance speeches and who was just tired. Michael and I mostly advocated for tired. Mia and Bess think drugs.  I still think it was mostly exhaustion.

The show opened with a stunning dance number choreographed (I think) by Evil Angel impresario John Stagliano. More dancing later with Belladonna and girls. That one had a narrative that seemed to be about a dom aerobics? yoga? instructor. Some work out class that involved a lot of boob shaking and floor humping. And one bad student who got worked over by Belladonna. Spat on. Dragged around the floor. With a good beat

The Awards are broadcast on Showtime and whoever was in charge wisely got some footage before it all began of the audience laughing, guffawing, applauding and doing a standing ovation. Good thing because during the real show the porn talent audience didn’t do so much clapping much less a standing O. Very curious to see where the fake standing O might get inserted. Perhaps for Sasha Grey winning the Jenna Jameson Crossover Artist Award?  Cause in reality that audience was pretty damn silent. Stony even. Hard to know why, really. Do they not like Sasha and refuse to make for phony friendliness?  Or maybe they’re just not the pavlovian clappers we theater folk are.

Fave winning title:  Asses of Face Destruction.

I could go on but Vegas seriously sucked the life force out of me. But to wrap up: despite the exhaustion, etc. it was quite delightful to see many of our porn acquaintances at once – Kylie Ireland in a killer dress, the adorable Katie St. Ives, Seth Gamble, the always charming Nicki Hunter, Sunny Lane, Eric John & Vicki Chase & many more.

Now we just really want to see the porn parody of the X files. Kimberly Kane who plays Scully won for best actress and she seems like more fun than Gillian Anderson.  Sorry Gillian.

And thank you AVN for having us for the expo and the awards show. In the midst of this huge undertaking they really went the extra mile to help us out. Thanks and thanks and thanks.